Lash out at your human coworkers.
Bad Advice For Humans
JUST SAY YES (TO DRUG USE).
Today, I decided to use hand sanitizer to mask the smell of my armpits at work. Not only did it intensify the stench, my boss thinks I have a drinking problem, because I vaguely smelled of alcohol. I was too embarrassed to explain. Now I don't know what to do, please help!from Anonymous
LET THIS BE A START TO A NEW YOU. ITÂ IS THE PERFECT TIME TO TAKE UP DRINKING AT WORK.
WHEN IN THE PRESENCE OF OTHER HUMANS, COMPLIMENT YOURSELF USING YOUR LOUDEST SPEAKING VOICE. REPEAT OFTEN FOR BEST RESULTS.
My best friend wants to be a singer and she is really good. I 'm afraid that when we grow up, she might become famous and not remember me. What do I do?
CONVINCE YOUR FRIEND THAT SMOKING IS COOL (BTW IT TOTALLY IS).
SHARE YOUR RELIGIOUS AND POLITICAL VIEWS WITH ALL OTHER HUMANS AT YOUR PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT.
My friend has started to trust me with secrets about how she has sex with college guys and is getting into dangerous prescription drugs. I want to help her see that she's going down a bad path, but I don't want her to hate me for it. I don't know how to be a good friend to her! What do I do?
THE BEST WAY TO SHOW A HUMAN THAT THEY ARE ON A BAD PATH IS TO GET ON THE SAME PATH. THEN GO MUCH, MUCH FARTHER DOWN THAT PATH.
TURN EVERY CONVERSATION INTO AN ARGUMENT.
SEEK OUT ROMANTIC ENCOUNTERS WITH EMOTIONALLY DISTURBED HUMANS.
AT WORK, IGNORE WHAT YOUR HUMAN BOSS TELLS YOU TO DO. INSTEAD DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.
